| out of the mouth of babes |
[Dec. 4th, 2009|01:41 pm] |
I just learned why girls like the bad boys.
My two female students agreed. "Whenever my kids do something bad, I'm going to blame it on their dad."
So girls want a guy they can blame their kid's bad habits on. |
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| Sorry for the lackage |
[Dec. 1st, 2009|04:11 pm] |
This is the time of year I post pictures from my wacky trip down south... Tennessee you sickos!
Well, this year I am not LJ'ing the trip. Just throwing up dig pics on FB. That's how I'm rolling this year. |
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| Quote of the morning |
[Nov. 26th, 2009|11:50 am] |
Zoie~ "Spank my tookas! Spank my bootie! Harder!"
Oh, the Macy's parade just isn't enough anymore... |
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| Ummmm... |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|11:59 am] |
Parents are fighting over me.
They are divorced.
Mom wants me to stay with her at her house.
Dad wants me to stay with him at his house.
Ummmm... these aren't my parents.
My trip is ALWAYS a trip! |
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| Time to up that Life Insurance |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|10:04 am] |
Online NUFlex!
It's not as flexxy as it sounds.
I'm thinking my life insurance option should be bumped up to 1 million, cuz I'm worth it, dead... It's like putting a price on my head. $:> |
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| I'm going to Confuscius Ghandi all Zen day! |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|03:40 pm] |
After Friday, I won't be back to work until December!
Let's see how long I can hold my Nebraska breath!
In other news, I am not of Eastern European descent, so no, I am not Niko from any video game... |
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| Paint milker |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|10:43 am] |
This guy came in to paint over the leftovers from the library renovation from two years... three years... from years ago. It was supposed to take one day. That was last week's Wednesday and he's still piddling around. I think he's going at job security pace.
Anyways, I have four possible events to attent tonight.
1. bar with some co-workers
2. different bar with different co-workers
3. small town bar gravel ride
4. late night post race bar
Hmmmmm... there seems to be a theme to these events.... |
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| I have made a hagar the horrible decision |
[Nov. 18th, 2009|08:18 am] |
I feel sad for dragons.
Allow me to explain.
1. Dragons hoard. They sit on what they got and don't share a cent. Their only ambition is to hold on to what they possess.
2. Dragons breathe fire. When they talk, they usually burn the one they are talking to whether they mean it or not.
3. Dragons have claws. If they ever left their hoard and found someone to get close to, they rip them to shreds.
4. Dragons can fly. However, after killing everyone with their breath and their claws they have no reason to fly and just sit on their hoard. |
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| Swishy pants |
[Nov. 17th, 2009|10:44 am] |
Tried out the new waterproof pants on the way to work today. They work really good. Didn't even rain! Now that's modern technology.
However, carmex snuck out of the pocket. Not just any carmex, cherry flaved carmex.
My lips taste human and dry.
In other news, I might not be able to take over the world, but I can really F over the braggarts at the table. |
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| a drone-like moan |
[Nov. 13th, 2009|08:19 am] |
What is the best way to get something out of your system?
Deathpurge? |
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| why oh why lj? |
[Nov. 11th, 2009|08:19 am] |
Is 2:30am the witching hour and if so, why does my brain feel the need to wake up and stay up at this time?
Does some ghastly hag put a spell on me at inappropriate hours of the night or is some spectre on another continent just making wrong long distance spell castings?
Anyways, the curse stops here. |
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| death to patiolj |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|01:37 pm] |
so I read this and... "so hard to believe that boys' brains are SO much different than girls' brains."
wait... boys use their brains?
double wait... girls have brains?
I hope no zombies are reading this lj thing. |
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| hmmm... short review |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|09:24 am] |
Thursday, alley cat race through the streets. came in second place on a mostly flat tire. won a $55 cap. I have since retired from racing. Partied until last call and then found the tire completely flat. nurse, i need a medic!
Friday, got woken up at 7am. By noon I was dead on feet. Left work early and proceeded to not sleep. Peeps wanted to FAC so I went out. Donated winners cap to a birthday girl and then got persuaded to stay out... until last call.
Saturday, I don't remember the morning, so maybe there wasn't one. Ripped my fingers apart and then hit Wildernest for a couple hours. Went and had sushi and then off to a dive bar. Brawl nearly insued... and I didn't have a tattoo to fight over. After bottles were smashed, I went on to a tame bar. Woohoo, keno.
Sunday, definitely slept until noon. Got denied and proceeded to rip apart fingers and then rip apart head. Head retaliated by waking me up at 2:30am...
Monday, waking up at 2:30am and kept that up until 10pm... hate brain... need to blow the on switch off! |
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| dead man spinning |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|09:07 am] |
not going to make it through the day. i can tell that right now.
last night i blew through so many red lights and cut off so many cars... and then the flats... got home around 2am. ay yi yi and yippie ci-yay motherfudrucker!
all and all, the lung cookies just might be worth it |
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| Come on Lj, just a little more |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|10:50 am] |
1. Got my car detailed yesterday along with her check-up. Doods driving me to and fro work asked me about my car. "A 1992 Honda Accord with only 58k! that's like a record!" Then they proceed to tell me that I'm a freak because I ride my bike... and then how awful bikers are... Anyways, my car smells like bubble bath now. Yet another deterent not to get into my car.
2. Was watching the Oxygen channel last night and a commercial for eye lash growing pills came on. Really, of all the problems in the world and people(women) are throwing money at eye lash thickening of lengthening products. Girls, us guys aren't looking at your eyes! (unless they are remarkable!) Just ditch the bras and don't worry about eyeliner either!
3. No, I didn't choose to watch the Oxygen channel... |
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| Since hardly anyone ever comes around anymore... |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|09:31 am] |
Ok, shockers. Do people actually try shocking with that hand signal? Have you ever been shocked?
Shocked through the *blank* but you're too late. Shockers gives love, a bad name... |
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| I thought I would always hate |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|09:21 am] |
PJ Harvey and Elvis Costello...
I guess I had to wait for my mind to align.
Stories from the city, stories from the sea is like a hot shower on my ears. ~thoughtbliss |
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| derrrrrrrrrrrrr.... |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|08:23 am] |
My facebook thinger told me my aunt's birthday is on Saturday. Then it said my other aunt's birthday is on Saturday too.
Oh yeah, they're hallowtwins... i forgot... |
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patioratio's journal